Proof of God
by LoveforPenandDerek
Summary: She's stuck between earth and heaven. Only she's not alone. Reid and Prentiss.
1. Chapter 1

**Note-** _This story will change the events of the Criminal Minds season six episode titled _Lauren_ and all events afterwards. It is inspired by the movie _Just Like Heaven_, but it will only take inspiration from it, not follow the storyline closely._

**Proof**

**Reid and Emily**

**Chapter One**

**March 2011**

Waiting patiently outside the small chapel located on the main floor of the hospital, Spencer Reid leaned with his back against the wall and his eyes closed, trying to stem the pain of his headache. Though he understood why his friend and co-worker Derek Morgan was inside the chapel praying (most people turned to religion in times like these) Reid believed that Morgan was probably wasting his time.

There was no scientific proof of any God, any afterlife, or anything beyond this random world spawned from science.

The world began because it could and existed as it was currently due to evolution. One day it will destroy itself due to natural disasters or man's hubris, just to start all over again. All on its own, though, without any divine guidance.

Reid could prove this theory with facts whereas no one could prove God existed with any facts that Reid would consider undebatable. Of course people who were religious didn't deal in facts as much as faith. They couldn't prove what they believed as much as they felt it deep inside to the point where it didn't have to be proven to be what they based their lives on.

Spencer Reid had never felt that kind of connection with some force outside of the known universe.

The only thing he put his faith in was his team and they put their faith in him right back.

Only Emily hadn't...Emily tried to do it all alone...tried to hunt down Doyle to protect the team, put her faith in herself alone and no one else. It hadn't work. She should have known better. They were a family and no person could do it all alone.

Now Emily was paying the price for her mistake while Reid stood there, in the hospital corridor, trying to block out the light, the noise, and the feeling of his head throbbing. Trying to just survive this moment in as little pain as possible.

But everyday the pain got worse and worse. The doctor said it was just stress. Dr. Reid was investigating his illness himself, mainly to try and allay his fears that he was close to going into a schizophrenic break. Citing stress was an easy answer, considering his job, but also a double edged sword.

He didn't see his stress level going down anytime soon.

Finally Derek stepped out of the chapel and said, quietly, "Lets go, kid. We need some rest. We got a new case starting in the morning and it's a bad one."

A bad one was code for more disturbing than their normal type of horrifying cases. Bad ones took even more out of all of them. Spencer didn't know how many more bad ones he could endure, how much more he had to give.

Walking out of the hospital that night his mind mulled over the theory of time travel, something he would believe possible much easier than believing in a divine presence guiding the universe. Time travel could one day exist, perhaps, and if it ever did then he would like to go back to when Emily first joined the team.

She was happy and healthy then. They were all so much less scarred. Her smile was bright, her eagerness to learn endearing, her skills impressive for this being her first job in the field- or so she said back then.

It was a better time for all of them. They had a happiness then that seemed far away now. What Reid would give to be back in one of those days but science had not perfected time travel yet.

Science was letting down Reid and he, unlike Morgan, had no God to pray to that might make it all better again. He only had his scientific facts that said Emily's brain activity was not increasing and the longer she stayed in the state she was the less likely she would ever make any recover.

She could live this way for years to come, wasting away physically and mentally. Emily deserved better than this.

If she had only trusted them, come to them, come to just him alone even, then she wouldn't be in this hospital. Reid was sure of that fact. She wouldn't be here if she had turned to her family for help.

Why didn't she know that anytime she needed them they would be there for her? Why did she take away their choice to give their all, even risk their lives, for her? Why did she treat them as if they were children, not her capable friends who love her?

Reid had gone over and over this question in the days since Emily was hurt and come up with a litany of answers ranging from shame to pride to stubbornness and the inability to let down her walls but none of them satisfied him totally. The question stuck in his craw, repeated in his mind_: Why didn't she come to us?_

Only Emily could answer that but she wasn't talking. If she ever did again, Reid wondered what kind of shape he would be in by then. Each moment of each day now seemed to take a little more from him. How long until there wasn't enough left to do his job, to be the Dr. Spencer Reid he could recognize in the mirror?

His brain was what he counted on most but it was his own head turning on him now. Clogged with pain, gruesome memories, hurtful thoughts, regrets, anger, resentment. And it wasn't getting better as the days went on...it was only getting worse and worse.

(_So tired of the straight life_

_when everywhere you turn_

_there are vultures and thieves at your back._

* * *

><p><em>The storm keeps on twisting.<em>

_Keep on building the lies _

_that you make up for all that you lack._

* * *

><p><em>Don't make no difference.<em>

_Escape one last time._

_Its easier to believe_

_in this sweet madness,_

_this glorious sadness,_

_that brings me to my knees_) (In the Arms of the Angels by Sarah Mclachlan)

XXXXXXXXXX

He put the key in the lock, twisted, and then took hold of the door handle, jimmying it some because it was an old building with a door that stuck. Reid walked into apartment, where a lamp stayed lit always, and dropped his go bag and messenger bag, along with laying his mail down.

As he often thought when he came home, he mused on how nice it would be to have a pet. To have something that looked forward to seeing him, something to share his life and space with. It seemed the few people he had really let in here to spend time with him over the years, with just a few exceptions, were now people he didn't see anymore: Elle, Gideon, Austin. That was one thing Reid hated about life: how people come in and out of your world, staying sometimes only a short while.

He didn't do well with losing people. Every single time it felt like more than he could bear. Sighing, he wondered how he would handle it if Emily didn't come out of her coma.

The odds were against her now. She was moving each day toward it being less likely she ever would recover. Those were the facts. Though Reid hated to think about it he could never escape the things his own brain knew, even at moments when he wished to be ignorant of the truth.

Moments like this.

It would be nicer to be like Morgan. Nicer to be able to pray and hope for God to grant a miracle. That must be comforting. But if there was a God, which Spencer could not reasonably conclude that being the case, then why would He grant anything to a man who didn't pray or believe in him, a man like Spencer?

Waiting on God to make this all right again wasn't an option for him. That void left Reid with his scientific facts, which were no comfort at all. They only made things more grim, the pain in his head intensify.

Slipping out of his coat, he tossed it on a chair that was covered in books, and made his way to the kitchen to make some green tea. But as soon as he rounded the corner of his kitchen he let out a strangled cry, stopping cold in his tracks.

Standing before him was the physical manifestation of a delusion. It wasn't the first time he had one but this was truly the most frightening because this time his mind had conjured up the woman he had missed the most these last few weeks: Emily Prentiss.

She looked as stressed as he remembered her being during her last days before the injury. Though her cream sweater and cream slacks provided a very pulled together look, with not a single strand of hair on her head out of place and even some minimal make up applied, it was her eyes that were wild with fear and worry- big, dark, intense, penetrating deep into him.

He stumbled back a step, closing his eyes and trying to block out the image, knowing it wasn't anything more than another sign that he was schizophrenic.

"Reid," she said, her tone strained and hinging on hysterical.

His eyes blinked open in time to be staring right into hers when she asked "What happened to me? Am I dead?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Proof of God**

**Reid and Emily**

**Note- **_Thank you for reading and reviewing! _

**Chapter Two**

**March 2011**

Lately Dr. Spencer Reid had been worrying that he was showing signs of schizophrenia. He saw things that weren't real sometimes. Though he had always been able to vividly imagine things, which helped him with his job and his studies, that wasn't quite like what he was going through lately.

He wasn't trying to imagine these things now. They were just there. Like her:_ Emily_. Standing in his kitchen, dressed normally in a cream colored sweater and slacks, but with a wild expression in her eyes.

Squeezing his eyes closed, he tried to make the image vanish by using rationality to convince himself it was just a delusion brought on by whatever, so far undiagnosed, illness he had.

"Reid," his delusion spoke. Hearing her voice, a voice he missed so terribly, sent a shivering of goosebumps along his skin. His eyes opened in time to hear her ask, her voice just above hysterical, "What happened to me? Am I dead?"

The best thing to do, he was sure, would be to turn, walk away, go take a shower, take a sleeping pill and go to bed. He hated to take any medication but a doctor had prescribed it to give him some relief each evening from the intense headaches that plagued him.

In that moment he realized, oddly, his head didn't hurt at all anymore. And his feet weren't turning to walk away, as he should, but instead shuffling him toward her until his hands were hovering over her arms, a mere inch from touching her.

He didn't expect to be able to feel her warm, firm flesh beneath his fingertips and yet he so wanted to be able to do so. To have Emily there with him, not in some hospital bed across the city stuck in a coma.

His hands lowered and came in contact with her sweater. He jumped a little, feeling her body in a solid form instead of what he expected to encounter, which was just air.

Emily too startled. "I can feel you," she said it awe. "I didn't think I would be able to."

Then she moved back from him and showed him what she meant. She tried to touch the counter but her hand sunk into and through it. She moved to the fridge and tried to open it but her hand just slid through the door, disappearing inside. She walked to the wall and tried to touch it but her hand slipped into the wall.

"I'm dead, aren't I?" she asked "How did it happen? What did he do to me? And why did I end up here? You're not...are you dead too? Oh no. Was it Doyle?"

True anguish covered her features at the very thought of Reid losing his life because of her enemy and them both ending up here in this apartment for eternity.

Ignoring her, Reid walked out of the kitchen and toward the bathroom. He couldn't and he would not engage a delusion. It would only hasten his descent into madness. He told himself that he was only imagining Emily there because he cared for her so much and wanted the comfort of her company, to see her healthy and able to walk and talk, rather than a prisoner of a bed.

It was one thing to want that, another to actually imagine it and go so far as to feel like he was touching her but he wouldn't take that next step and talk to her.

She trailed behind him. "Reid, you can see me, right? I know you can! You touched me. Don't ignore me. Reid!"

He walked into the bathroom and locked the door. Breathing hard, he leaned his back against the door, before growing so overheated and feeling so claustrophobic that he tore off all his clothes, turned the shower to cool and huddled inside of it, letting the water wash over him for long minutes till he felt strong enough to stand up again.

Shaking off the experience, he then calmly finished his shower, brushed his teeth and put on the pajamas that were hanging on the hook on the bathroom door. He figured he probably would never hallucinate Emily again. At least he hoped not.

It was just too hard to see her. He wanted too much to talk to her, to touch her, to ask her why she hadn't trusted him when it came to taking on Doyle. To pretend his Emily delusion was the real Emily who he missed and needed so badly to have back, his good friend and confidant.

He opened the bathroom door, feeling a little refreshed and more at ease, only to find Emily standing with her arms crossed, a pissed off expression on her face. She informed him "That was rude."

Reid let out a strangled scream that sounded like a twelve year old at a Justin Bieber concert who had trouble making her words come out as anything more than "Ughnnnnnn!"

He glared at the delusion, angry that his own mind was torturing him this way, and then walked forward, determined to walk through her and past her to his bedroom. Instead he ran into her and she fell back against the opposite wall of the hallway, knocking into a table he had there that had a sculpture on it.

"Ahhh!" she cried, falling right through the table and the sculpture, leaving them unmoved as she hit the floor. "Wow, Reid, I don't think I'm gonna like being stuck in eternity with you!"

He walked to his bedroom, closed and locked the door, panting in fear and worry but trying to stay calm. A moment later Emily walked through the door, right through the wood, and into his room.

She said "I know it must be hard for you and confusing to deal with being dead. I never thought it'd be like this either. But, for some reason, I'm here...in this apartment...with you...and I really don't relish the idea of leaving here to find out what's out there. So could you please talk to me?"

He walked to his bedside table, rifled through the books there and pulled out one on schizophrenia. Sitting down on the bed he opened it and began to read, trying to soothe himself with facts.

"Great," Emily said "I see they've provided you with lots of reading material for the hereafter. Lucky for me that you read fast. So when do you think you'll finish every book in this apartment? An hour? Two?" When he didn't answer her she said "I know you hear me and see me. I'm a profiler. Or I was. I can tell by your body language that you're freaking out and haven't dealt with your death any better than I've dealt with mine. How did you get here? I just seemed to appear out of nowhere. I don't understand how this all works, do you? Why are you able to touch things and I can't, if we're both in the same predicament?"

He ignored her. She walked over and sat next to him. He felt no weight on the bed and yet he could feel her warmth next to him. It was an odd, surreal sensation, other worldly.

His hand shook some as he turned the page.

Emily was silent for a few minutes before she mused, more to herself, "Maybe this is purgatory. Maybe I have to endure this. Being here with you but you ignoring me so I can learn the value of communication." There was a silence for a few minutes until he heard soft crying. "Maybe you're not even here. Just my delusion. A person I need to tell things to and I can't leave this place...this level...till I do." After another moment she added "I'm sorry for keeping you in the dark. You deserved better."

He could feel her staring at him. Closing his eyes again he wished her away, wished for relief from this delusion. None had ever lasted this long since he had started suffering them a few months ago.

Emily stood and walked out of the room, walking right through the door. Reid lay down and closed his eyes, trying to sleep. In the middle of the night he woke to find Emily laying on her side, facing him.

With sleep hazed eyes he took in the fact she looked the same as earlier- the same clothes but the only difference is her eyes were closed now, as if she was asleep. He lifted his hand, believing with most of him he wouldn't be able to touch her again, and slowly stroked her face. He marveled at how warm and solid she felt, and yet there was no breath escaping her lips or mouth.

Scared of his own mind, yet fascinated by this beautiful delusion of his friend who he couldn't interact with in any other way now, and with sleepiness clouding his judgement, feeling half awake and half asleep, he kept stroking her face and neck, tangling his fingers through her hair.

"Emily," he breathed out her name.

Her eyes slowly opened, not sleepy at all, and stared deep into his.

He said "I want you to be real but you're not." His fingers kept moving against her, now following along the base of her head. "I miss talking to you." He kept caressing her. "I'm so mad at you right now but I forgive you. Even though I don't understand why you did what you did." His fingers moved down to her shoulder, kneading it, and then worked down her arm. "I know why you're here. I need you." His hand made it to her wrist, his fingers circling it for a moment, and then he laced his fingers with hers. "I always wondered what this would be like: being crazy."

"I don't understand any of this, Reid."

"You're my delusion."

"Oh...so Emily...I mean _me_...so I'm okay? I'm alive somewhere?"

He saw hopefulness on her face and hated to take it away. "Emily Prentiss has been in a coma for the last twenty three days but that has nothing to do with why you're here."

"How can you be so sure?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**March 2011**

They lay in his bed, facing each other and holding hands, Reid and the woman he missed so terribly. Though his mind told him that he was imagining her and shouldn't talk to a delusion, the fact that he had just woken up and was in that strange half asleep, half awake mood made it easier to let down the walls between dreams and reality.

He told her "I always wondered what this would be like: being crazy."

"I don't understand any of this, Reid."

"You're my delusion."

"Oh...so Emily...I mean _me.._.so I'm okay? I'm alive somewhere?"

He saw hopefulness on her face and hated to take it away. "Emily Prentiss has been in a coma for the last twenty three days but that has nothing to do with why you're here."

"How can you be so sure?"

He paused for a moment. He was sure because it was not any known phenomenon that would allow her spirit, if one believed such an entity existed, to travel outside of her body while she lay in a coma. Science did not allow for that.

It allowed for delusions so she must be one. Yet this delusion didn't feel like anything he had experienced before.

"I don't know. I just assumed I must be imagining you because nothing else could explain this, could it?" He paused for a moment, thinking it over, before asking "Emily, what is the last thing you remember before you were here?"

"Being in an ambulance with Morgan yelling at me to stay with him."

Reid thought for a long moment, while enjoying the warmth of her hand in his, no longer quite as disturbed by her presence. He gave into the soothing, comforting feeling of touching her, being in somewhat of a dreamy otherworldly place with Emily- even though he rationally believed he was alone and talking to himself.

"You'll say whatever I want you to say because you're my delusion. You'll feel how I expect or want you to feel."

"Is that right, huh? You have this all figured out then? Reid, you may be a genius-"

"There is no _may_ about it. I'm a certifiable genius who-"

"Be that as it _may_, you don't know everything. You don't know what this is. I wished you did because its freaking me the hell out. I'm afraid to leave here...I don't know where to go or what to do...what I am now. All I know is you see me."

"You're my delusion because I miss Emily so much, that's all. You can't go anywhere. You exist because I need and want Emily back."

"I _am _Emily. You miss _me."_

"You're the Emily I want to be here, that's all."

Leaving go of his hand, she flopped backwards until she lay on her back "Riddle me this, why can I walk through walls as if they don't exist but I can sit on the floor and bed? Since you've created this fantasy me, what's up with that?"

"I don't honestly know. I don't even want you to be here, on some level, and another is terrified you'll disappear and I'll never be able to talk to you again."

"Not to be rude but I'd like to get out of here, if it meant I was out of the coma." She looked at him with a nervous stare. "What do the doctors say? Am I a goner?"

"They won't say anything definitive but statistics..." he swallowed hard as tears unexpectedly filled his eyes. He lay on his back, swallowing over the lump in his throat, a strange warmth flushing through him.

She whispered, on the verge of tears, "Maybe this is just goodbye then."

They lay in silence a minute longer before he said "I was suffering delusions even before your accident. But even if that wasn't true I couldn't believe you're here because...some force in this universe...is letting you be here. That doesn't exist."

"I've had my own personal battles with God but at a time like this there's no way I'm gonna say He doesn't exist."

"Then I'll say it. There is no proof of anything existing beyond this realm that we're in right now."

"Be careful there, Reid," she joked, grimly, "He may just strike you dead for that one."

"If He does exist then He should let Emily recover and keep me from going any crazier. If those prayers came true that might give me some reason to believe in divine power."

"Sometimes when you pray His answer is simply no but that doesn't mean He didn't hear you.."

A long silence. "If I have to be crazy this isn't so bad. Seeing you is preferable to demons or dragons or delusions that I'm God or God is telling me to do things."

"I don't think you're crazy, Reid. Sometimes people see their loved ones...like this...late at night...and the next morning they wake up and hear the news that the person has died. That happens. I've heard of that before." Tears spilled down her face.

He rolled on his side, reached up and wiped away a tear. "Is it like this? Can they touch each other?" He cupped her jaw. "Does it feel as real as this in those reported cases?"

"I don't know." She shivered beneath his touch. "I'm so scared and I hate feeling this damn way. Why was I so dumb in how I handled Doyle?" Then she gasped "Doyle...Did we get him? Is he dead?"

"He's dead. Hotch shot him in the heart."

"Good. That bastard deserved what he got. He killed most of my former team. Tsia..." she sniffled. "I really screwed it all up. I could have done so much better."

"Why didn't you let us help you?" Maybe this was why she was here, to give him the answer to the question that was haunting him now.

"I suck at letting people help me."

"But we're your family. We love you!"

She gave him a tender look. "I think I'm here because you're the one who needs to hear this most: there was nothing you could have done to make me behave different. You couldn't have changed anything. I messed up all on my own because that is what I decided to do. It wasn't because you're not a good enough friend or that I don't trust you. I trust you, Reid. Even right now when I feel half crazy and mostly dead...I'm glad I can have this time here with you...I hope tommorow it feels like a dream to you, not a hallucination." She reached out and caressed his face, as he caressed hers. "I just want you to be okay, even when I'm gone."

"But _Emily _isn't gone."

"I think she is," she said, sadly. "You just don't know it yet."


	4. Chapter 4

**Proof of God**

**Reid and Emily**

**Note**- Thank you to Fanatical Writer for all her encouragement to not give up on my fanfiction writing.

**Chapter Four**

**March 2011**

"I don't want to sleep," Reid whispered to Emily, as they lay in bed together, unsure what was happening to them, how they could be together when she was in a coma.

"I can't sleep, I don't think."

"But earlier-"

"My eyes were just closed, that's all. I didn't know what to do, where to go, so I just lay here next to you while you slept. I was so much more brave when I was alive. I wouldn't been out that door and off to see what the hell was up, who else could see me, what I am, where I am."

"Don't say when you were alive. Emily _is _still alive."

Tearfully she chuckled "Maybe. Maybe not. Or maybe not for much longer."

Though it was comforting, in a way, to be there with her, each stroking the other's face, he rolled away from her and reached for the phone that rested on his night table, amid all the books, pens, pads of paper, glass of water and other items strewn there. He dialed a number he remembered, due to his eidetic memory.

Emily sat up. "Who are you calling?"

He held up a finger to silence her as he spoke to the woman at the front desk in the hospital. "Yes, I'm immediate family," he said, after she asked his relationship to Emily. "Please, I just need to know if there's been any change in her condition?"

"Hold please, sir, while I check with the nurse on that floor."

Reid and Emily's eyes met and held while they waited. Finally the woman came back on the line "No, sir. There's been no change."

"Thank you." He hung up. "No change."

"Yet...it must be happening. I'm slipping away. That's why I'm here. A chance to make things right before it's too late. Wow. On one hand it sucks because I'm dying and the other...I feel like I should be grateful...for this. How many people get this?"

"I admit I've heard of angelic visitations but I've never believed them to be more than a coping mechanism for grief, just a fantasy that a person convinces themself is real."

"Yeah, well, I'm here so that blows that theory to hell, no pun intended."

"Does it?"

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

"What does that even mean? What's a gift horse?"

She chuckled through her tears, saying his name in a loving way. "Reid." After a moment of staring deep in his eyes she added "I will miss that...you...but don't think I won't be around. I'll be close if you need me, just not like this, I promise. I don't ever want to make you feel crazy again."

He took her face in his hands, a desperateness about his movements. "I don't want you to leave. I want you to live," he choked out, tears in his voice and eyes.

"Hey," she said, emotionally, "me too. Trust me, me too. But, like it or not, I'm not long for this world."

"Why me? Why would you visit me?"

"Oh, Reid," she said, tears choking her words. "I don't know. Maybe you just need it the most."

"I don't want to lose another person. I wanted to be able to keep you safe, to protect you. If we can't protect each other, what is the point of any of it? Why bother?"

"Because this world needs people like you to bother. So you better hang in there. Promise me."

"If I have schizophrenia like my mother-"

"Is that what the doctors say?"

"No but-"

"What do they say?"

"Its just stress and I need to see a therapist."

"So do it! Do it! You still have a chance to fix everything in your life. I don't. You better not just give up on yourself because I'll be highly pissed off if you do."

"I don't know what will happen to me if you d-" he bit back the word die. Their lips were inches from each other as they stared right in each other's eyes.

"Its okay to say it. I'm dying."

"Maybe not."

"Reid, I'm here. I wouldn't be here unless I was close to _there_."

"There? The afterlife? Do you really believe in that?"

"Heaven? I'm a fallen Catholic but I guess I do believe in Heaven, Hell and Purgatory. Though I'm glad it's not this apartment...so this is you're place, huh?" She looked around. "Why didn't you ever invite me over?"

"Did you want me to?"

"Sure. I would have liked to come over and kick your ass in poker a time or two. I guess you like your privacy though, huh? I won't invade your space too long. Though I hate to say it...I do hope that when you wake tommorow I'm gone and that's it."

"You need to fight to live."

"So you admit I'm Emily? Not just a delusion you're having?"

"I don't know. I usually have headaches and brief flashes of images, nothing like this. My head hasn't hurt at all since I saw you. Before that it was really bothering me. Maybe I'm the one in a different place and this is all just my dream. Maybe I'm in a hospital somewhere strapped down to the bed and pumped full of meds."

"You don't believe that, Reid."

"I don't know what to believe anymore. Look at this. I can touch you." He touched her arm."And you can touch me." Lifting a pillow he took her hand and forced it right through the pillow. "But you can't even hold this. It makes no sense."

"God never promised to make sense to us mere mortals."

"I'm not conceding God has anything to do with us, at least not yet." They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment. "Is there anything you want to do, Emily? We don't know what this is or how long we have but is there anything you want to do with whatever time there is? Just in case. Would you like to call your mother?"

"Do you really think I could talk to her and she'd hear me?"

"I don't know but I can talk to her and you could hear her voice."

"It's really late. It would only scare her if you called her right now."

"But she's your Mom. Don't you want to hear her voice?"

Emily teared up. She swiped at the tears, angrily. "She's probably mad at me. She never did like my career choice, or any other choice I made for that matter!"

He sighed. "Is there anything else, anyone else? What can I do to make this better for you?" He moved away from her a little and raked his fingers through his hair. "I can't believe I'm trying to help my own delusion. I shouldn't even be admitting I see you."

"I'm here. Deal with it. You're not losing your mind. This could end like that," she snapped her fingers "so embrace it while it lasts and when I'm gone," her voice cracked on that word "don't remember this night as a crazy delusion but as a wonderful gift from a higher power. There is something out there, Reid. I know there is. I don't pretend to have all the answers or believe everything I was taught in Sunday school but you don't get this close to there and stay agnostic. There is something out there...I feel it." Her face took on an amazed look as she closed her eyes and seemed to glow slightly. "I feel like it's so close...so warm...and I'm almost there but not quite. It's not scary. Quite the opposite. Here is scary. There is safe."

In that moment, as she grew fainter but her aura grew brighter.

Fear clutched at Reid's heart. "Don't go, Emily! Don't leave me yet."

Suddenly she popped back to the way she was before, a solid form. Her eyes opened. "Sadly, I'm pretty sure that ain't my call."


	5. Chapter 5

**Proof**

**Reid and Emily**

**Note- **_At the end of chapter six this overnight visit comes to an end for Reid and Emily and the story moves on to the next event for them. I thought I would mention that since this first night has been going on for chapter after chapter, but there was a lot to cover between them_**.**

**Chapter 5**

**March 2011**

All night long Reid and Emily spent talking, about what was happening, the past (including their childhoods and past times they spent on the job together) until nearly dawn.

She tenderly stroked his face. "You can sleep now. I want you to. It's okay."

"I can't. What if you're gone when I wake up?"

"That's the idea."

"I should want that. It's not normal to want to see someone who isn't really here. That's not healthy. I should want this to just be a dream that I'm having but whatever it is I know I want to stay in it as long as I can." He reached out and stroked her face some more, something they had been doing all night. "I don't like seeing you at the hospital. It's not right to see you there in that bed, looking sick and helpless. I like you better like this."

She smirked. "Like this? I've seen better days."

"You're the most beautiful woman I ever met."

She gasped. "Ha. I heard something about you dating an actress once. A movie star, right? I'm not close to movie star beautiful but thank you, Reid. That was a sweet thing to say." She smiled slightly. "I guess you'll be the last guy who ever compliments me. I'm glad it was you."

"I know you wouldn't be here unless, deep down, it is what I really want so I guess by the fact that I am seeing you, or think I'm seeing you, then I must have feelings for you deeper than I have even wanted to admit to myself before. Because, even if I'm losing my mind, I'm imagining you here because I need and want you here."

"We're close friends. Of course you have a need to say good-bye to me."

"We could have been closer friends. I wanted to hang out more. I just didn't know how to ask very well."

"I was surprised when you asked me to go see that movie. I wish I could have said yes."

"Why couldn't you have?"

"Doyle was stalking me already."

"I'm sorry, Emily. I wish you would have let me know."

"I knew how dangerous Doyle was. I just couldn't risk it."

"Our team is trained to put guys like Doyle away. If you would have trusted us-"

"It's not about trust. Don't you get it? Our team...that's all I have...had...in my life. All that mattered to me. All that I loved. And I had to protect what I love."

"But we love you. Didn't you think we'd want to protect you?"

"I know you all would have but I didn't want any of you to die like my former team mates did. I know I should have pushed past that fear and been honest. I know that now but only because hindsight is twenty twenty. Back then I felt how I felt so deeply, it's like I couldn't have made any other choice."

"But you could have and you should have. I'm angry and frustrated with you for getting into this situation."

"I don't blame you for that."

"Is that what you think I need to hear? That you don't blame me?"

"Maybe. It's the truth, though. I would be pissed at me too if I was you."

Scooting closer to her, he rested his forehead against hers. His hand slid down her shoulder and over her sweater.

"Sleep, Reid. It's time."

"I have to go to work in a few hours. Can we just talk to then?"

"I honestly don't know. I just appeared here and I guess I could just disappear at any second...but till then...I'm all yours."

They kept talking until eight thirty when he said "I'll call off today."

"No, Reid," Emily sat up. "No way. Go to work. You can't get stuck like this. One night is one thing but...it has to end at some point. It's a gift when its one night and a ticket to a mental health facility when it becomes a way of life. You need to go to work and I need to go...where ever I'm going."

"Are you ready?"

"Hell no but if it's happening anyway then I want to decide how. I don't want to stay here, scared for when it's gonna happen to me."

"So you think you can will yourself there?"

"To Heaven? Maybe. Maybe not. Don't they always say it's all about the will to live? Well I don't want to live this way or in a coma. It may be selfish but I want to write my own ending. Go out on my own terms."

He stared at her, as she paced around his bedroom. "I'm not ready to say goodbye."

Emily stopped, titled her head to the side, and gave him a sympathetic look. "You won't be anymore ready tommorow morning and you can't call off work indefinitely."

"I'm not talking about indefinitely, just today. Can't you stay for today?"

She walked over to him, as he sat there on the edge of the bed. Cupping his face with one hand, she stared down into his eyes. "Do you know that you always impressed me so much? And with more than just your knowing everything under the sun. You're sweet and kind and though you don't get a lot of jokes- or like any- you have a great sense of humor in your own Reid way. I know you don't totally buy into the fact there is an afterlife right now but I hope one day you do believe so you realize that this isn't goodbye forever. It's just good bye for now. I don't know how or why we got this. Maybe I'm just dreaming this but it feels so much more real and intense than any dream I've ever had. Whatever this is...it's the best thing that ever happened to me. I just wish I could have felt this for one second when I was alive."

"But you are still alive, Emily. At least the Emily at the hospital is."

"Maybe my body is but my spirit is moving on."

"Where will you go when you leave here?"

"I'm not sure. If I can't...you know...close my eyes and will myself beyond this stupid coma then I guess I'll just wander around until the inevitable happens."

"Promise me that if you don't find a way to move on, to whatever is after this life, that you'll come back here and see me again."

"Oh, Reid. It's not fair to you. I can't."

"I'm a grown man. I decide what is fair to me and I say you can. Respect my right to make my own choices."

She moved back from him. "So you want to keep feeling crazy and talking to a woman who is an apparition? That sounds like a good life plan to you?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Proof**

**Reid and Emily**

**Note-** I'd like to thank sangreal7 (my email buddy) for her continual support of my writing. Along with several others she reminds me to hang in there when I'm at the end of my rope.

**Chapter 6**

**March 2011**

Emily had just told Reid that it was time for him to go to work and time for her to leave. Their magical night that should have never, logically, been able to happen- since she was in a coma and her spirit shouldn't be able to be there in his apartment with him- had to come to an end now.

He asked "Where will you go?"

"I'm not sure. If I can't...you know...close my eyes and will myself beyond this stupid coma then I guess I'll just wander around until the inevitable happens."

"Promise me that you if you don't find a way to move on, to whatever is after this life, that you'll come back here and see me again."

"Oh, Reid. It's not fair to you. I can't."

"I'm a grown man. I decide what is fair to me and I say you can. Respect my right to make my own choices."

She moved back from him. "So you want to keep feeling crazy and talking to a woman who is an apparition? That sounds like a good life plan to you?"

He stood up. "All I know is if I can see you again then I want to. Promise me you'll let me decide my fate this time instead of you taking my life in your hands and doing what you deem is best to protect me."

After a long moment she said "All right. If I can come back again one day then I will. But I don't want you spending your life waiting on another visit from me. You gotta promise me that."

"If my promise means you'll keep yours then I promise to try and live my life to the fullest, as long as I'm not committed to a hospital anytime soon."

"You won't be," she said, tenderly. "This isn't about_ that._"

"The headaches-"

"Stress. You gotta let the pain that our job brings go. Kick back in your off time and do something really crazy. Oops. Bad choice of words. I mean do something outrageous."

"Like what? Spend all night talking to an apparition?"

She chuckled. "No, something a little less outrageous than that but more outrageous than chess. Like bungee cord jumping or climbing a mountain."

"Throwing myself off a bridge or risking frostbite and losing all my toes? That would make my life better?"

"Trust me, it will. Go for it and you'll see."

"I want to do things like that with you. Can't you hang on, Emily? Come back to us."

"I wish I could but if I could then I wouldn't be here right now, I'm sure of that much."

"How can you be sure of anything in a situation like this?"

"Some things you just know because you know them without knowing how you know them, Reid."

"That sentence makes no sense."

"You just don't want to admit how much sense it makes because it doesn't fit into your scientific world view."

"Science is logical. Whereas half the things you say, even before tonight, simply are not. For you, its all about what you think is right is right and how you feel is true is true when it's not. Just because you say that something is so doesn't make it so."

"Do you really want to fight with me and insult me right now? You're about to be late for work and I'm not going to be here when you get back."

"Listen to me," he said, coming close to her and taking her hands, "there have been studies done about the importance of people who are ill having a strong will to live and when they lose that their health starts to rapidly decline. If you give up on this life then that's it, Emily. But that doesn't have to happen. You're not dead yet. Maybe you're not even here to say good bye. Maybe you're here so I can convince you to fight."

"I'm here because we are lucky enough to have this...one more chance to say all the things we should have said before. And what I want to say most to you, Reid, is to live a life better than I did. Live to your fullest. Don't be scared of love or adventure. Don't let your fears of getting sick or letting someone else down stop you from ever making the choice to do something a little wild, every time you got the chance. And _connect _with people. Really _invest_ in people. People are the most important part of living. Love is the most important part of life."

With tears streaming down her face, as her whole body seeming to glow slightly, she said "I love you, Reid. I think that is what I came here to be able to say and I can't move on till I do. I truly and really do love you. And I don't want you to live in memories of me or Gideon or your childhood or anyone or anything...live in the moment. Remember me best that way."

"Emily, I should have told you a long time ago," he choked out, afraid she would leave at any moment "I love you too. I'm not saying I've been in love with you but that I care about you so much that now that you're in a coma I have such a need to be near you that I go to these extremes...imagining you...just so I can have the chance to say what I should have said before. You're so special to me. You're such a good friend. You always treated me like an equal instead of a kid. I love that about you. You're irreplaceable. No one will ever be Emily to me again. And I don't want to let you go."

She placed both hands on his heart. "You don't have to let me go. I'll always be here. But you do have to go on...for me...because I don't want anyone I love to waste a moment of their lives. Life is short and it's precious. Live it. For me, _live _it."

Heavy tears fell from their eyes as he embraced her, a warmth unlike anything he had ever known before enveloped him right then. After a few minutes they moved to the bed, climbed onto together and cuddled, until Reid fell asleep.

An hour later his phone rang. He popped awake, looking all around for Emily but not seeing her. He grabbed the phone. His voice was thick with sleep. "Yeah?"

"Reid," Hotch said "did you oversleep? It's past ten."

"Yeah, yeah, Hotch. I'm sorry. I did oversleep. I'm not feeling very well."

"Do you need to take the day off? We're about to leave for Pittsburgh for a new case. Maybe you can join us tommorow if you're up for it."

"Maybe. I'll let you know."

"Take care of yourself, Reid. If you need to see a doctor then do so, all right?"

"Yes, I'll consider that. Maybe I do need a doctor. I'm not sure what's wrong with me."

"Keep me informed, please."

"Sure. Bye Hotch."

Reid climbed out of bed and slowly searched his apartment for any sign of Emily but she was no where to be found. With his back against the front door he slid down, sitting there in stunned silence as he thought about last night.

Could it all have been just a dream? And what was he supposed to do now?

(_All day staring at the ceiling_

_making friends with shadows on my wall._

_All night hearing voices telling me _

_that I should get some sleep_

_because tommorow might be good for something._

_-x-x_

_Oh no, feeling like I'm heading for a breakdown._

_And I don't know why..._

_-x-x_

_Me_

_talking to myself in public_

_and dodging glances on the train._

_And I know_

_I know they've all been talking about me._

_-x-x_

_I can hear them whisper and it makes me think_

_there must be something wrong with me._

_Out of all the hours thinking_

_somehow I've lost my mind..._

_-x-x_

_I've been talking in my sleep._

_Pretty soon they'll come and get me._

_Yeah, they're taking me away._) (Unwell by Matchbox Twenty)


	7. Chapter 7

**Proof**

**Reid and Emily**

**Chapter 7**

**March 2011**

"Mrs. Prentiss," Reid said, as he stood in the door of Emily's room, his eyes glancing between Emily's body in the bed and her mother, who looked aged and weary, stressed from worrying about her daughter. "I don't mean to interrupt-"

"Come in. It's okay. Dr. Reid, right?"

"Yes." He stared at Emily and then at the numbers on the machines by her bed. "How is she today?"

"The same. Always the same. The doctors say they are monitoring her but I have to wonder how long before they give up on her and just send her to some long term care facility? How long until holding her own becomes the best the doctors deem she can hope to do with no chance left of waking up given to her? No treatment to bring her out of this! I know she's still in there. My daughter is too strong to just give up. She's come this far already." Elizabeth took Emily's hand. "Haven't you? And you'll come the rest of the way through this. You have to prove to the doctors you can though."

"Excuse me, I'm going to go have her doctors paged. I'd like to hear for myself what her prognosis is."

"If they give you any trouble about confidentiality laws send them my way. Emily was very fond of you, of your whole team really. I'm sure she'd be touched by how often you all visit, especially with your busy schedules. These last few weeks have been so surreal. It feels like a nightmare that just won't end."

Quietly he agreed "It has been surreal." With another glance at Emily he said "I know if she could find a way to come back she would." He walked out of the room to track down her doctors.

XXXXXXXXXX

Emily had left Reid's apartment that morning unsure where to go or what to do. She had lay with him for a while as he slept, closing her eyes and praying for God to either let her wake from the coma or take her on to Heaven. All the warmth she had felt when Reid was holding her had faded in the moment that he fell asleep.

Not wanting to be there when he woke up- seeing her again would only make it harder on him- she slipped from the bed and walked right through the bedroom door and later through the front door, down the stairs and onto the street.

She wondered the streets, trying to talk to people but they walked through her and no one seemed to see her. She made her way to the BAU and tried to talk to her co-workers, first Derek then Rossi then Hotch then Garcia, going to each of their offices, but nothing.

They had their morning meeting, with Hotch saying Reid was late and he would call him to check on him, talked about a case in Pittsburgh, and then were ordered to meet on the plane in forty five minutes.

Emily spent time staring at each one of them, talking to them, saying she loved them and was sorry before she wandered back out of the building again. She went to her apartment and noticed that her mother was staying there. Just seeing her Mom's reading glasses sitting next to a cup of cold tea and a book made tears well in Emily's eyes.

She wondered how many people who were dying got an experience like hers. Surely she couldn't be the only one. She didn't want to be trapped in this strange place between life and death indefinitely.

All day long she remembered moments of her night with Reid. It had been the most amazing and special part of her whole life, even if it happened when she was nearly done with life, a woman in a coma who shouldn't get awesome nights with a sexy guy, who shouldn't be able to touch her friend and whisper "I love you," for the last time to him.

Whether Reid believed in it or not, last night had been a miracle. But now what?

XXXXXXXXXXX

Sitting by her bedside, he recited poetry from memory, not knowing what else to do or say to her, other than "Please fight. You can still recover from this, Emily. I'm here and I need you here with me."

His cell rang that afternoon. "Yeah?"

"Hey," Derek Morgan said. "How are you feeling? I heard you came down with something."

"I don't know. I guess I'm feeling a little better," Reid answered, distractedly, his eyes still on Emily.

"Good. Cause we need your big brain out here in the field. There's no one to tell me all I never wanted to know now."

"Right. Okay. Well I'll try to come back to work soon but I'm not sure how soon. I want to be at my best and right now I'm not."

"Reid, you can talk to me. What's up, man? Another headache?"

"No, actually my headache last night went away abruptly. It's not that."

"Good, good. So the flu or something? Some bad take out for dinner last night?"

"I just don't feel a hundred percent and I'd slow the team down-"

"You at eighty percent is still smarter than most of the world."

"True but I just need some time off, all right? Hotch will have to understand."

"Yeah, alright, I hear you, man. I just called to make sure you know we're all concerned about you. Garcia is planning to make her favorite genius a big batch of chicken soup to help you get over whatever ails you."

"That's nice of her but this is beyond a chicken soup kind of problem."

"If this is about what we talked about before-"

"Please don't tell me again that I'm not going crazy because you honestly can't say that with any degree of authority. I only know how I feel and right now I feel like nothing makes sense. I'm sitting here looking at Emily hooked up to machines and it doesn't make sense. She's not really here or there. She's in between and as long as she is then so am I."

Derek sighed. "We all are praying Prentiss pulls through this but she wouldn't want you sitting there when you need to be working."

"I know. I know she wouldn't want that but I don't want to leave her. What if I'm out of town when she..." he choked on the word "dies."

"She'd want you to be out here fighting the good fight, saving lives, like she did when she could. She'd want you to live life to the fullest. We all visit her but none of us can live at the hospital. It's just not healthy and Prentiss would be the first to tell you that."

"I can't just give up on her."

"Hey, I am not giving up on her either. Just remember that before you can take care of Emily like she needs you gotta take care of yourself. Get some sleep tonight, eat a good meal and do me one more favor? Find someone to talk to about how you feel. You know you can always call me and if not me then, man, make sure you find someone. Don't bottle it all up."

"It's hard to explain but it feels like...I just wish I could go back in time to when it wasn't so hard. It's all so hard right now."

"There is no going back, Reid. You gotta make your peace with today and embrace it for what it is, not what it ain't and can't be."

Reid repeated Morgan's words. "Embrace it for what it is."

"Yeah. I know it ain't easy but-"

"You're right. It's not easy at all. These last few months have been such a struggle but maybe I should do what you suggest, what Emily would want me to do, embrace this experience for what it is and turn it into something meaningful, even if it is a struggle that I can't understand why it's happening."

"Good, good, good. Stick with that. There can be something to get out of even the hardest times, a way to grow and learn. You're never alone, either, Reid. Not as long as I'm around, okay?"

"Okay. I'll let you go now. Bye, Morgan."

"Hang in there, kid."

Reid shoved his phone in his pocket and then reached out to take Emily's hand. He bent and kissed it, but there was no intense warmth washing through him like when he held her the night before. Still he didn't know if that was real or his imagination playing tricks on him.

He was afraid to go home to his empty apartment. Afraid he'd conjure her up again. Afraid he wouldn't.


	8. Chapter 8

**Proof**

**Reid and Emily**

**Chapter 8**

Three days later Hotch texted Reid to tell him that the team was back in the office and that Hotch wanted Reid to come in for a meeting.

Once Reid was there Hotch asked about his health.

"I need some time off," Reid told Hotch. He was exhausted. He hadn't slept much in the last few days. The headaches hadn't come back but he was always waiting up most of the night, hoping Emily may appear again, questioning his own sanity and health.

"Are you sure that would be best? Right now I think we all need to be together more often, not less, supporting each other. Prentiss would not want any of us isolating ourselves over guilt or pain because of her situation. She would want you surrounded by family."

"I know," Reid said, softly, "and I will be. I'll still see you all but I need a sabbatical for myself. Maybe I'll write a non-fiction book. It's on my list of things to do before I die. It feels like time for that and for other things I've been putting off."

"I'll put in the paperwork but I want you to promise me you will keep in close contact. If you don't I can assure you that I, along with others, will be kicking down your door."

"Thank you, Hotch, for understanding."

"Will you see a doctor while you're off?"

"Maybe. I've seen quite a few already though."

"Your health comes before anything else, Reid."

Reid stood up. "I know and that's why I need this break. I need to put my health first right now."

Hotch stood up and shook his hand. "You'll be on sick leave until the paperwork is finalized for extended unpaid time off. I expect regular phone calls. And don't be gone too long. We do need you on this team. No one can do what you do. We're already a man down and now another. It won't be easy to manage without you and Prentiss for an extended period of time."

"I know but the timing can't be helped. I feel if I was to keep working right now that I'd be a liability to the team and greatly do harm to my own health. I need this time off badly. I wouldn't ask otherwise."

"I can see how strongly you feel about this. I won't question your judgement. Take care of yourself and make sure you do come back to us. This team needs you, Reid. We function best when we're all strong."

"I'll try to get strong again." Reid walked out of the office, through the bullpen and left without saying anything to his other teammates.

For another two weeks he stayed in his apartment day and night, waiting on Emily, before he finally rented a car and started to drive to Las Vegas. He had always flown when he visited his home town but this time he drove the scenic route and stopped in small towns along the way.

Trying to live his life, each and every day, to the fullest.

Every day he called the hospital to ask Mrs. Prentiss about Emily, prepared to fly back quickly if she took any sort of turn for the worst, knowing she'd rather him be out living then waiting there at her bedside, but there was never any change to report.

The weeks went by and Reid stopped having headaches or delusions. He started to do breathing exercises, to mediate outside each morning and do tai chi, trying to calm his mind and spirit. He read about experiences people had with ghosts and about eastern religious that focused on a mind/body connection.

And he did odd things in the name of living, like Emily had begged him to do: sky diving, mountain climbing, white water rafting, and riding a mechanical bull, taking pictures of all his adventures. He talked to strangers everyday, trying to put a value on people instead of just learning. When he hit Vegas he looked up his father, had dinner and a long talk with him. Then he spent time with his mother, telling her stories about Emily and about Reid's trip across the country.

Spencer went out and he really lived. Lived like there was no tommorow. Lived like Emily had asked him to.

_(I went sky diving._

_I went Rocky Mountain climbing._

_I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Manchu._

_-x-x_

_And I loved deeper_

_and I spoke sweeter_

_and I gave forgiveness that I'd been denying._

_-x-x_

_And he said "I hope someday you get the chance to live like you're dying._

_Like tommorow was a gift_

_and you got eternity to think about what you'd do with it."_

_-x-x-_

_What did you do with it?_

_What did I do with it? _

_What would I do with it?)_ (Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw)

But what he wouldn't do is flirt with anyone or respond back to any woman who flirted with him. It just didn't feel right. Normally he wasn't much of a flirt anyway -and didn't even notice when women came onto him- but now he was extra reserved in that aspect of his life.

Spencer Reid, by the time he was walking back into his apartment after his trip, realized that his heart was already taken. He wanted to go to the hospital and see Emily as soon as possible. Even if she stayed in the coma for years, for all the rest of his and her life, he would keep visiting her, keep remembering their night together ( a night he still couldn't scientifically explain to his satisfaction but science wasn't all that mattered to him anymore).

He didn't know how he could think of loving another but he wasn't sad for that. He was glad that Emily, when she had come to him that night, had made him feel such a deep connection to her that he had some idea now truly what love may be. An idea he hadn't felt with his girlfriends in the past, no matter if he had been dramatic and, at the time, thought those romances were big, grand, life changing things.

None of that compared to his one night, or his friendship, with Emily.

Reid walked into his home and dropped his go-bag. Only a second later a flash of movement caught his eye. He turned and looked down his hallway.

Stepping out of his bedroom was Emily, dressed in the same cream colored sweater and pants as the night that she came to him before. Their eyes met and held.

She ran toward him and jumped into his arms. Though he was sweaty and tired from the long car ride, and though he knew that her actual body was at the hospital still, that this was just a visit by her spirit, Spencer Reid didn't freak out and think himself crazy.

He just held her and was thankful that he could, thankful for the intense warmth he felt as their bodies pressed together, as they held on tight for a long moment.


	9. Chapter 9

**Proof**

**Reid and Emily**

**Chapter 9**

**April 2011**

Emily had spent weeks wondering the hospital, being with the team, wondering Washington DC and hanging out Reid's apartment. She heard him when he called her mother and asked about her, heard him when he called to check in with team members, was glad he was out living life the way she had asked him to do.

It was better than being there with her, confused about why she was caught between life and death this way. Plenty of people went through comas but did anyone else ever go through this? She didn't know.

Though it didn't seem fair to see Reid again, to make him feel crazy, she had promised she'd come back if she could so when he arrived home from his trip she was there waiting for him.

When she heard his key in the door her heart jumped into her throat. She hurried to the hallway and saw him turned sideways, dropping his bags on the floor. When he looked up he spotted her and their eyes held for a long moment.

The look in his eyes was so intense- as he stood there in wrinkled cargo pants, a striped t-shirt and a loose fitting unzipped sweat jacket- that she knew he was feeling as much relief at seeing her as she felt at seeing him. Emily did something then that she had never done before in all her life: she ran across a room and jumped into a man's arms.

A hot, intense rush of warmth flooded her as they tightly clung to each other. A glowing aura of light surrounded them.

He whispered, emotionally, "I didn't know if I'd ever be able to do this again."

"I know. I know. Me too." During her life, that time before the coma, Emily closely guarded her emotions so it was rare that she let down her walls and let herself cry in joy, pain or sorrow. But during her last visit with Spencer she had cried often and now she cried again, this time in happiness that they had this moment together.

He set her back on her feet. Their hands immediately moved to cup each other's faces, something they had done during their night together weeks before. Tearfully they stared into each other's eyes with soft smiles on their lips.

Finally he asked "How do you feel? Does it feel odd, being like you are?"

"Odd, yeah, you could say that. I still can't get used to the _not being able to touch anything but you _part. Not to mention I don't need to shower, use the bathroom, eat or even breathe anymore. And...I'm starting to feel weaker everyday now. It's subtle but I'm fading slowly."

"No, Emily," he cried, his words soft and panicked. "You can't think that way! It's been seven weeks, five days and fourteen hours since you went into surgery and you're still here. Your body is still fighting to recover. Don't let your will to live slip. Promise me you won't just give in to death. If you can be here with me like this then you can do anything. I truly believe that." He took her hands. "Even if this is all we can have...this is enough for me. Keep fighting to be strong so you won't have to leave me. You can't give in to that feeling of fading. To wanting to slip to some other place, unless that place is waking up so everyone else can talk to you like I can."

"I just don't want to lie to you and waste tonight on pretending I'm getting better when I know I'm not."

Jerking his hands away, he angrily shouted at her "You don't know that for sure!"

"Yes I do! I can feel it! Maybe it was a mistake to come here at all! This isn't fair to you!"

"You giving up isn't FAIR TO ME!"

"Look at me! Does it look like I got a lot of choices? HUH? Do you think I'm choosing to be like this?" To illustrate her point she reached out to try and grab a vase but she couldn't. "Is that what you really think? That I don't want to live or die? I HATE THIS!"

"Then fight! Fight, damn it! You can't keep talking about fading away. Talk about getting strong again. Believe it! BELIEVE FOR ME! Can't you do that for me?"

Just then there was a knocking on his door. Spencer let out some deep breaths, to calm down, and then walked over to the door, looked through the peephole and said "It's my neighbor." He opened the door and smiled at the elderly lady, who was peering around him curiously. "Hello, Ms. Abrams."

"Hello, dear. It's so good to see you. I've been collecting your packages while you were out of town working. You work so much, dear. You need a good vacation every once in a while."

"Actually I was on vacation for this trip. I went to see my parents in Nevada."

"Isn't that wonderful? So, not to be nosy but I heard raised voices. Is everything okay? You have company?"

"Yes. A friend from work."

The woman looked around Reid and was clearly confused when she saw no one.

Reid said "She stepped into the bathroom."

The woman could see the bathroom door ajar. Reid closed his door more, blocking her view with his body. "I'll get my packages tommorow, Ms. Abrams. Thank you for hanging onto them for me."

"Are you sure everything is okay, dear? It sounded like some kind of lover's spat. It's so nice that you've found someone."

"Yes, I've found someone and it is nice. I'm sorry we were so loud. You know how it is sometimes...she's upset that I was away so long and didn't call enough. I didn't know I was supposed to call every single day."

"Yes, dear, women do like to know how important they are to you and that they're on your mind even when miles separate you. I'm sure you young people will work it out just fine."

"I'm sure."

"Good night then. And remember to get your packages in the morning. I'll let you get back to your lady friend."

"Good night, Ms. Abrams." He closed the door.

Emily said "I'm sorry for screaming. Lets not fight, okay? I heard what you said and believe me...if it is a strong will to live that will wake me up from my coma then I will keep fighting to have that but I also just want you to try and consider accepting that this is a process that may have a different conclusion then you want."

"Don't you care if you live or die? Don't you want time to spend with your mother again? With the rest of your family and friends? With me?"

"Of course I do. Don't question that. I just accept I might not get what I want, Reid, and I need you to open your mind to that possibility too so I don't feel like I'm fighting you when I don't have the strength to fight the only person who sees me."

"I did try to come to terms with the fact you may or may not come out of the coma while I was driving cross country but it's different now...standing here with you is different than mediating in some desert at sunrise and telling myself I'll survive okay any outcome because at least we had that night together. Now that I'm standing here, looking at you again, Emily...now I just want more time. And I won't lie about that."

"Don't fight me though if I get weaker. It's not because I'm giving up. My body doesn't do what I want it to, okay! All I can do is get through this the best I can. And I really would like to have tonight with you but if it's too much on you, I get it and I'll leave."

He pulled her back into his arms. "Never leave me, Emily. Never leave me," he mumbled into her hair. "Never. Please. Fight with all you have so you never leave me."

She clung tightly to him and reveled in the feeling of touching something again- after weeks of her hands just going through objects-feeling that heat that only came when they touched. It was different than the typical sexual heat. It was beyond this world. A sensation so intense and warm that she wanted to stay in that heat forever.

But even if that was possible- that she could stay stuck between worlds here with Reid- she couldn't do that to him. She couldn't let his life be lived with an apparition. It just wasn't far to him.

So even though it was a God given miracle to have this time with Reid, Emily knew it was just a short time she could stay in his life this way. She had promised to visit him again but that is all it could be- just a visit, not forever, not even the rest of her lifetime, as short as that may be.

It was just tonight again.

Just one more stolen night with her sexy, loving, amazing friend. A night that made it worth all she had gone through for the last few weeks alone, wandering around the city unable to speak or touch anyone.

Now she had him. The only one she really needed.

(_Too early to say goodnight._

_You have stolen my heart._

_You have stolen my heart..._

_-x-x_

_Our dreams assured and we will all sleep well._

_Sleep well._

_Sleep well._

_Sleep well._

_-x-x_

_You have stolen_

_You have stolen _

_You have stolen my heart_.) (Stolen by Dashboard Confessions)


	10. Chapter 10

**Proof**

**Reid and Emily**

**Chapter 10**

**April 2011**

He loved her laugh. Loved, also, to see her smile as she looked at the pictures he had taken during his road trip to Vegas. Joy filled her features as she saw he had taken her advice to do something bold with his life while he still had the chance.

Reid might not have been very coordinated or good at sky diving, mountain climbing and riding a mechanical bull but he had liked pushing himself out of his comfort zone and now he was glad that he had- considering Emily's response to hearing of all his adventures.

He told her "You should have came with me."

"Oh, I had my own wild times here. I've been tagging along with the team on cases, little do they know. They really need you back. There were a few times when I know you would have added something to make it all gel together for them quicker but they muddled through without you. I also spent time with my other friends, my Mom, JJ, Will and Henry, Jack...I even went sight seeing some days. You can get a lot done when you don't sleep and can walk through walls. I've been into the oval office now."

"If I knew you were still around, Emily, I would have stayed here to be with you but I spent weeks waiting and you never came back. I thought you couldn't."

"I'm back now...for tonight, at least."

Reid reached out and clutched her hand. Warmth spread through him at feeling her touch. "I want you to stay here with me. Live here with me."

She softened at those words and a tender look came into her eyes. "Reid..." her voice sounded choked up "this...it's just for tonight. That's all it can be. I'm just visiting and, after this time, I won't be back again."

Tears flooded his eyes and his voice cracked as he asked "Why? Why are you so stubborn? Why can't you just give me this one thing I ask before I lose you...if I'm going to lose you, give me this!"

She quickly moved close to hug him and they held each other for long moments, until Reid leaned back on the couch and Emily lay against his chest. He stroked her hair and rubbed her back as they just stayed like that for a long while.

Finally he broke the silence "I've started to pray."

She lifted her head and her eyes met his. "That's wonderful."

"I can't say I believe in any one certain religion or one certain religious figure but this...you...have made me believe there is something beyond this life. I have to believe in that now...it could be my only chance left to spend more time with you...one day in the afterlife. But I don't want it that way. I want you to come out of the coma. And I know you can if you try hard enough."

"Oh, Reid, it's not about trying. I've been trying. It's beyond what I can do."

"Then I will have to keep praying so whomever has the power to decide makes the right decision. Maybe that is what all of this is about...my headaches, your coma. Maybe it all comes down to a lesson in hubris. Thinking we know best and can control things. Not wanting to ask for help, to admit we are not really in charge of our own lives completely but at the mercy of things beyond our control. I didn't want to listen to my body that it needed a break. You didn't want to lean on anyone and admit your past with Doyle...even at the risk of your life and others."

"If I had more life left to live I'd do so many things different. No more wasted time. No building up regrets. I'd be fearless."

"What is the first thing you'd do?"

Her eyes darkened with emotion as she reached out to run her fingers through his hair and then down over his cheek. "Tell you how very much I do appreciate you and how you've changed my life, changed me, for the better."

"You've changed me for the better, too." Taking hold of her wrist, he moved her palm to his mouth and kissed it. "I can't say good bye to you."

"You never have to because I'll always be close by, making sure you live life to the fullest."

"Not without you, Emily."

"That's not our call to make. Sometimes we are powerless to decide anything. I've never been one to give up but maybe this whole experience is about coming to terms with the inevitable."

"How can I know so many things but I don't know how to explain this experience? How to do anything to change the state you're in. I've researched and researched visitations and still there is nothing to tell me how this is happening, how long it can last, how I can save you. I should have found an answer by now. I always have the right answer but now, when it matters most, I'm letting you down."

"You are not letting me down. I am not here for you to save me. I'm here for you to have this memory of me and to hear me say," her voice dropped as she tenderly said "I love you."

Her hand pressed against his heart- warmth filled his body and white light emanated off his chest.

He cupped the back of her neck, leaned his forward against hers and let himself cry for all he could lose if tonight was their last night tonight. "It's not fair. I love...I think I'm...No, I know I am...I'm in love with you, Emily." As he went on, his words were spoken through more and more sobs, a broken rant filled with his heartbreak. "I only realized it after you were hurt but I've felt connected to you for a long time. You see me different than anyone else does. I like that. I need you. Can't you see how much I need you? How can that not matter?"

"We're both idiots. We could have been together before but neither of us saw what was right in front of our faces. It was right there all along."

He cupped her face in his hands, as his mouth sought hers, giving her a gentle, tender kiss that grew more fierce and desperate until they were both breathless after several long minutes of kissing. Reid's stomach growled.

Emily chuckled. "You should eat some dinner before you pass out from hunger."

"No, I'm fine," he assured, not wanting to let her go.

She stood up, took hold of his hand and tugged him to his feet. "Come on. You'll have to cook though. I'd make you a meal but it's easier for me to crawl into the fridge than hold a gallon of milk these days."

"I'm really not in the mood to eat."

"Too bad. You have to take care of yourself. And in the future, even if you don't see me, I'll be around making sure you take care of yourself right so you better not skip any meals or gorge yourself on diary products, cause I won't be happy."

He made dinner and they kept talking all through the meal until his phone rang. Reid ignored it but the person called right back again. He picked up the cell and looked at it.

"It's JJ." He answered the call, even though he hated to speak to anyone right then. He just wanted to stay in the hazy world that him and Prentiss were sharing. "Hi."

"Oh, Spence, good! You answered! Did you make it home yet or are you still on the road?"

"I'm home. It was a long drive today but I pushed through so I can sleep in my own bed tonight."

"Great. Well I hope you haven't eaten yet cause Henry wants his godfather to come over for dinner."

"I just got done eating and I'm really beat right now. Tell Henry I'll come see him soon though."

"Are you sure you can't come by tonight? I'll make cookies for dessert." She sounded concerned about him. "We really want to see you."

"I know I worried you with taking this sabbatical but I'm feeling a lot better now, so don't worry. This trip was just what I needed."

"Good, I'm glad. Will you go back to work tommorow?"

"Not tommorow but soon."

"Garcia says the team is lost without you."

"I'm sure she's exaggerating. Either way, I'll be back there soon enough. I gotta go now, JJ, so thank you for the invitation and sorry it didn't work out tonight but I plan to go to bed early."

"Okay, I understand. You're probably tired after that long drive but promise you'll come by soon, all right?"

"I promise. Bye." He disconnected the call.

Emily raised an eyebrow. "Going to bed early?" she teased him.

"Yep, after a nice, long, hot shower." He reached out his hand to her and she took his hand. They went to the bathroom together.

Reid started the shower. Slowly they undressed each other, their hands sensually sliding over the flesh newly exposed to their eyes, before stepping into the shower together. Under the spray of water, their lips met again in a soulful kiss.


	11. Chapter 11

**Proof**

**Note- This is a very short chapter. It just happened to work out this way.**

**Reid and Emily**

**Chapter 11**

**April 2011**

"Everything I know about science says that the only way this is possible," Reid told Emily as they lay in bed together, his hand gently stroking over her bare back, "is if I am suffering from a brain tumor."

"But you know you're not. Face it, you don't know everything. I'm sure it's a big blow..." she chuckled, snuggling closer to him. "I could stay like this for eternity."

Over the last few hours the strength of her aura had been weakening, ever so slowly, and only coming back to fuller strength when she would surge with emotion over Reid. Emily knew she was dying.

Not that she hadn't been dying for months now. But tonight it felt different. She was sure that the end of her life was fast approaching now.

Worse even, she knew that Reid realized it too. But he wouldn't face that their time was rapidly coming to an end and she was sick of fighting with him, trying to prepare him for the inevitable.

She was leaving him- tonight, tommorow morning, tommorow afternoon or even three days from now, maybe, but it wouldn't be that much longer.

There was nothing that either of them could do to stop it from happening. Reid kept insisting she just had to fight harder. Didn't he know she was already using every bit of her strength just to stay here with him right now?

During the weeks she had been like this she rarely felt weak or tired but now she did. Now she was plain exhausted.

Yet she had never been happier in all her life- happy because they both had found love and known love and experienced this miracle together- and she'd never been sadder too because Reid would have to live the rest of his life without her.

He whispered against her hair, as he held her nude body close to his, "I will love you for eternity," and, in this moment, it didn't sound hyperbolic at all.

She pressed a gentle kiss to his throat. "Promise me you will never think of this as some delusion you had. That you'll know this was a gift from our creator."

Reid cupped Emily's face. "I believe...How could I not?"

Right before his lips would have touched hers for a kiss his cell phone rang. Emily jerked back and said "You better get that."

Reid had to get out of bed and go find his phone- which was in the other room. His heart jumped to his throat when he saw it was Elizabeth Prentiss' phone number. "Mrs. Prentiss?"

The room spun as he listened to her sobbing into the phone that Emily had taken a turn for the worse. She had an infection and the antibiotics weren't working. The doctors said she might not make it through the night.

Elizabeth said "I know that you care for my daughter and so I thought you might want to," she choked out the words "come and say your good byes."

He whispered "I'll be there soon," just as a sharp pain shot behind his eyes, bringing him to his knees at the door of the bedroom. He looked up to meet Emily's eyes...where she was supposed to be in the bed...but the bed was empty.

"Emily?" he choked out in a tear filled tone. "Emily?" his voice was raw and weak. Spots came before his eyes as he got dizzy. "Emily!"

Dr. Spencer Reid knew he couldn't stay there on his knees. He had to pull himself up, using the dresser for support, get dressed and get himself to the hospital. The cab ride was excruciating as all the lights of the city and the noise only worsened the pain in his head.

By the time he made it to Emily's hospital room he felt so weak that the nurses asked if he was the one who needed a doctor.

"I am a doctor," Reid answered, brushing off the question, as his eyes latched onto the body in the bed.

She didn't look like herself anymore. The Emily he had known and loved wasn't supposed to ever look that lifeless, that pale, hooked up to machines, her mouth gaping open and her breathing ragged.

His Emily was beautiful, funny, smart, sensitive, full of life and love for him. Why hadn't he known that before Doyle ever started to hunt her? Before she made the bad choices that got her here?

Why did it take this nightmare experience to make him see that the woman before him had been the key to open every door in his world?

Stumbling over to the bed, ignoring Emily's mother, Elizabeth, as she rambled on about how bad she felt that she had never had a better relationship with Emily, Reid reached out and took hold of Emily's hand. "You have to fight to stay here. I need you!" Then he added "Please, God, I need her!"

So many people had spoken similar pleas inside the walls of this hospital but this specific one, from a man who used to not be sure he even believed in an afterlife, seemed to open the floodgates of heaven because Emily's heart rate immediately got stronger.


	12. Chapter 12

**Proof of God**

**Reid and Emily**

_If it is a miracle, any sort of evidence will answer but if it is a fact, proof is necessary_**- Mark Twain, as said by Spencer Reid during episode two of season seven.**

**Chapter 12**

**April 2011**

Soon a nurse came hurrying in, wanting to check on the patient, and then said "This is a good sign that the antibiotics are working."

Reid didn't think that the nurse and Elizabeth could see it but all around Emily was a warm, white light that slowly got stronger and stronger. Her hand became warmer in his grasp.

And then she made a sound. A beautiful sweet sound. Her head moved around a bit.

Reid said "She's squeezing my hand."

The nurse wasn't as easy to convince that this was real progress, and not something Reid imagined, but she said "I'll tell the doctor," before she left the room.

Elizabeth's tears turned into happy ones. The light, that only Reid could see, got bigger, brighter, warmer and eventually, hours later, Emily started to come out of her coma. Reid never left her side, whispering words of encouragement, praying aloud and kissing her hand often.

When her eyes finally opened there was a glazed look there. He wasn't sure what that meant for her cognitive function in the future but all that mattered to him was she was there for him to care for everyday for the rest of his life.

As their eyes met Reid was sure he saw some awareness there in hers...a glimmer of something that spoke to her knowing they had a connection. It was a glimmer he should have noticed years ago but he knew it was there now. And he would never ignore it again.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The weeks went by and slowly Emily started to improve, learning again to speak, to walk, to feed herself, dress herself, bathe herself, and brush her own hair. Reid visited her everyday to read her poetry and push her wheelchair around the grounds so she could get fresh air.

He could tell that Emily did not remember the time they spent together when she was a spirit. She never mentioned it or acted as if she was in love with him.

Reid pushed down his disappointment at that. Tried not to question God's plan or why God would let Reid know love for such a short period of time. Why it had worked out this way? Why couldn't Emily had remembered everything? Remembered their shared miracle.

Was it real if only he remembered it? He had promised her though to never think of it as a delusion and questioning what had happened would be the same as breaking that promise. Instead he kept his faith in all that he had felt, learned, and came to believe during Emily's coma.

"Go," Emily said to Reid, in her stilted way of speaking that she had now.

"Excuse me? Are you kicking me out?" he teased.

"Fun. You...fun."

"I'm having fun here."

She shook her head no.

He took her hand and when she tried to jerk it away he wouldn't let her. "Emily...I'm right where I want to be most."

Seeing the look in her eye, he added "Not because I feel sorry for you and not because you would do the same for me. I'm here because..."

Reid reached into his messenger bag and pulled out something he had been carrying with him since not long after Emily came out of her coma. He had found it at her apartment one day when he went there to see Mrs. Prentiss. He liked to check up on Elizabeth now and then, share a meal with her, give her someone to talk to about her feelings, worries and fears.

He pulled out the star puzzle, broke it apart and put it back together again in five seconds flat. "I get it now."

A tender smile came to her face and a tear slid from Emily's eye. He figured she'd probably doubt him and doubt his feelings for a long time to come- thinking he just thought he had fallen for her but really he just felt sorry for her- but eventually she'd have to see that what he felt was real and lasting.

They had time now to explore everything they had ignored for too long. He planned to win her heart all over again- for the third time in his this life- and if he ever lost her love later than he'd win her heart again and again and again for she was Emily and there was no doubt to Reid he was meant to spend his days loving her.

XXXXXXXXXX

Standing behind her at the gun range, Reid held Prentiss arms up to steady her as she aimed and fired. She needed to practice often now so she could re-qualify to join the team.

It had been a long eight months since she awoke from her coma. Months filled with friendship and a slow growing love that neither of them could deny.

Emily had worried for the longest time that Reid just felt pity for the poor sick lady, his friend that he wanted to help out, but finally she saw his feelings for her were so much more than that. She had confessed to him that a small part of her had feelings for him before Doyle came into her life last Spring.

A small part of her had wanted to go to that movie Reid had invited her to and make it a real date. When she had confessed that Reid told her "I bought the DVD so we can have that date tonight if you want."

And they had.

Now she fired her gun, each bullet taking her another step closer to the life she wanted back and also toward a brand new version of her life. Emily Prentiss couldn't be the same person after all she had been through.

No...she was so much better now. And it was mainly loving Reid that made her stronger, wiser and saner.

As her last bullet fired and hit the target, her body slumped back against Reid. She still got tired easy these days. It would be a while before she was able to go back into the field.

Reid leaned over and kissed her throat. "Can we please go get some dinner now? My grehlin levels have been peaking for hours now."

Grehlin is the hormone in the stomach lining that signals hunger.

"We have been here a while," she agreed. "One more round?"

He nodded.

Of course she had been saying one more round for the last hour. No matter how much her body ached she needed to get this practice in. Emily knew Reid would stay there with her as long as she wanted...she had come to see how his love for her was not the kind that ran away, faded, or flinched during the hard times.

Spencer Reid had seen her through her recovery this far. She knew he'd see her through to the end.

He was her proof that love could come to even those people that had squandered all their chances and wasted all their lives...even to a sinner like Emily Prentiss.

If ever there was proof that God existed it was that Reid had fallen for her. She knew no other way she could have ended up so lucky.

After shooting a few more rounds she said "All right. I guess I'm done for today. It's not like I'll be back to work anytime soon anyway."

"Sure you will. Everyday you get stronger. Hotch is just waiting for your doctor to sign off on it and then you'll be back in the field with us."

"Not anytime soon-"

"Not with that attitude."

"Well I don't think Strauss will approve me running around chasing unsubs down when I'm out to here." She motioned her stomach sticking out.

"Huh? Why would you be out to there? You haven't put on any weight. In fact, you've lost at least seven pounds since you were injured."

She turned around and looked up into his eyes. "You know how they say condoms are only 98 percent effective?"

"It depends on if they are used properly or not. The effective rates vary in certain-"

"I'm pregnant."

His mouth dropped. Her arms wrapped around his neck and his wrapped around her waist as they embraced- celebrating the miracle their love had created. Their lips met in a kiss and warmth shot through Emily's body, as if she was glowing from the inside out.

That had happened every time she ever kissed Reid. It was how she knew he was the one. No other man made her feel like she was in heaven every time his lips touched hers.

Loving Reid had given Emily her own version of heaven on earth. Now she finally understood what all the nonsense and drama of dating had been about...getting to something so beautiful it was worth any pain in the world. Something that could last through this life and the life beyond this one.

A love that was strong enough to survive for eternity. If you asked Emily before all this had happened if she thought that love like that existed she would have said it wasn't anything she would ever think could be hers.

Now it was. All because Spencer Reid never gave up on her. When she was pushing him away during her recovery he always fought for her...made her fight for herself...fight to live...fight for them...fight for the future.

He believed in them as if he knew it to be a fact that they were soulmates and now she believed in them just as much. God only knows how she got this lucky but Emily had the life of her dreams now.

Just like the fragments of dreams she had right after she woke up out of the coma- her and Spencer in his apartment making love under a hot, steaming shower. Those were the most beautiful dreams of her life.

Now that kind of thing happened all the time but it wasn't a dream anymore. Spencer wasn't just a fantasy. He was her future in every sense of the word.

For eternity, he would be her man.

**THE END**

_Thank you to everyone who read this. I have an idea for a new fic for these two, which is tentatively called "Going for It" but I'm not sure the muse will latch onto it. We'll see. Thank you for indulging me with my first supernatural fic, Proof of God._

Sara


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